Guest Post: Vampires Are For Wimps By J. C. Andrijeski
Recently, one of the main characters of my Allie’s War series, Revik, was asked whether he would be willing to submit to a one-on-one fighting challenge between himself and a vampire. Surprisingly, he was good enough to agree.
Revik is from a race of beings known as Sarhaciennes, or more commonly “Sarks” or seers. He lives in a modern-day Earth not so different from ours, only in his version a second race of human-like beings was discovered in Asia in the 1900s.
As a seer, Revik is able to operate in a nonphysical space that seers refer to as the Barrier. From that space, seers can read minds, push humans into doing their will, fight other seers. They can also conduct assassinations, spy on the past, present and future and conduct various other levels of psychic warfare if they have sufficient abilities and training.
As an infiltrator, Revik’s been trained to use his seer powers in a military capacity, a job he’s done, working for humans and other seers, for over seventy years. Since seers live significantly longer than humans (up to 800 years of age), this makes him on the young side, but he’s fought in two world wars alongside humans and other seers, dabbled a bit in Vietnam and Afghanistan, and spent thirty years working as an assassin for a rogue group of seers called the Rooks.
Questioner: So tell me, Revik, why do you think you could best a vampire in a fight?
Revik: You mean besides the fact that they are fictious creatures? [makes an annoyed, clicking sound with his tongue]. Well, I imagine they’d be easy to track, for one.
Questioner: What makes you say that?
Revik: Well, they sleep all day, don’t they? And if they drink blood, they’d have a pretty distinctive Barrier signature. It wouldn’t be hard to find them, once I created an energetic profile that allowed me to spot all creatures with a similar signature. Like any animal that doesn’t eat in a supermarket, they’d have a hunting pattern. Once I’d mapped that, it would just be a matter of killing them while they slept.
Questioner: What about their super-human speed and strength?
Revik: [clicks again, and now looks slightly bored] We can target from the Barrier too. Super-fast reflexes…and forward sighting. Shouldn’t be a problem.
Questioner: And their fangs?
Revik: [rolls eyes] It’s called a gun. This isn’t the torches and pitch fork era anymore…I should know, I lived back then. I few hits with organic bullets from a semi-automatic pistol and they wouldn’t have a face. Or, if I wanted to hit a nest of them, we could probably find a way to mimic sunlight to a sufficient degree. There are organic torches that can do this…although obviously they haven’t been tested on creatures from childhood fairytales. Of course, I’m not totally convinced we couldn’t figure out how to kill them or immobilize them from the Barrier.
Questioner: But they only die from a stake to the heart, right? Or decapitation? So you couldn’t very well do that from this “Barrier” place, could you?
Revik: Everything alive has a Barrier signature.
Questioner: But vampires aren’t really alive, are they?
Revik: [shrugs, still looking bored] Then we could find them by the absence of that signature…the point is, if they’re animate, there has to be some connection between them and the Barrier. Otherwise, they’d simply be inert. They have to have an aleimic body of some kind.
Questioner: Aleimic? What is that?
Revik: Every living being has an aleimic body…they’re what animates the physical body. They also house the structures a seer uses to operate in the Barrier. Even Terian, my old partner in the Rooks, who reanimates corpses to house different parts of his aleimic body, wouldn’t be able to operate those corpses if we cut the threads. He was nearly impossible to kill because he figured out a way to contain portions of his aleimic body outside his original, physical body.
Questioner: So you’re saying a vampire wouldn’t pose an inordinate threat to a seer?
Revik: Maybe a baby seer. Or one that was mentally deficient in some way.
Questioner: You wouldn’t find a vampire interesting quarry to hunt?
Revik: Look, unless they have psychic powers, like some of the historic vampires do, no, I have to say they’d be pretty boring prey. If they had the ability to hide their aleimic signature in the Barrier somehow, the way a highly trained seer can…or if they could somehow mesmerize me into not seeing them…then maybe. Maybe, they might be fun to hunt.
Questioner: But you still think you could beat one in a straight fight?
Revik: Depends on what you mean…but yes. Look, most of the vampires I’ve read about are still going to human high schools at the age of 250 or whatever and trolling for tail, so yeah, I’m don’t think I’d lose a lot of sleep over having to fight one if a bunch of them showed up.
Questioner: Well, thanks much for your help! Anything else you’d like to share with the humans in the audience?
Revik: [sigh] Not really. But if you think you’re really the ones running things on this planet of ours, you’re kidding yourselves.
28-year-old San Francisco native, Allie Taylor, at least thought she was human. But when she meets her first real seer, a race of human-like beings discovered in the 1900s, he tells her that not only is she a seer, like him, but that all the other seers believe she’s going to end the world. Unfortunately, no matter what she does, everything that happens after that only seems to prove him right.
About The Author:
JC Andrijeski is a bestselling author who has published novels, novellas, serials, graphic novels and short stories, as well as nonfiction essays and articles. Her short fiction runs from humorous to apocalyptic, and her nonfiction articles cover subjects from graffiti art, meditation, psychology, journalism, politics and history. Her short works have been published in numerous anthologies, online literary, art and fiction magazines as well as print venues such as NY Press newspaper and holistic health magazines. JC currently lives and writes full time in Sidhpur, India, at the foot of the Himalayas in Himachal Pradesh, a location she drew on a fair bit in writing the Allie’s War books.